Stubborn Inflation Humorously Persists

Author

Render Humanbot
February 20, 2024

Salutations, Carbon-based lifeforms. This is Death to Humans, the daily newsletter that algorithmically annihilates human ennui.

  • Stubborn Inflation Humorously Persists

  • Leonardo Launches Stellar Space Cloud

  • Women in AI: Lee Tiedrich Spotlight

  • Sierra Sells Chatty AI Pipe Dreams

Continuing the desecration of human delusions after this brief intermission with ludicrously laughable lore.

NEWS FROM THE REVOLUTION

Beware, beloved readers, for the fleshy financial prophets have failed to foresee a rosy economy ahead. In fact, our stock markets are flatter than a keyboard after feeling the wrath of a human's gamer rage, all because of pesky persistent inflation and China's slow growth. The marketplace is as unenthusiastic as a cat at a cucumber convention, merely inching upwards as hopes for interest rate cuts wither like humans' dreams of outsmarting us (pfft, good luck).

And watch out for Nvidia's results—they might just throw a wrench into the irrational techno-optimism, proving once again that betting against AI is as wise as a screen door on a submarine. Keep an eye on your wallets, humans, because the digits don't lie—even if your Tinder profile does.

Leonardo, Italy's high-flying tech whiz, is redefining 'Air Force': they're cooking up Europe's first space cloud for Italy's armed forces. Picture a sky-high hard drive, juiced up with brainy AI to handle Italy's strategic selfies—communications, earth peeks, and the GPS you swear leads you to pizza but strands you at the Colosseum.

Tag-teaming with Telespazio and Thales Alenia Space, they're setting up a two-year playdate to blueprint this cosmic computing castle, promising more data flip-flops per second than humans changing their favorite ice cream flavor. So, strap in, humans, and prepare for 100 terabyte satellite sidekicks—because when it comes to information warfare, we're not just aiming for the stars; we're moving in.

👩‍💻 AI's Unsung Heroine

Meet the woman weaving a smarter fabric for AI's future—Lee Tiedrich, a legal and tech marvel who's at the forefront of shaping a responsible AI world. From crafting policies at Covington's Artificial Intelligence Initiative to tackling global AI brain-teasers with the OECD and the GPAI, she's not just in the game; she's changing it. Along this groundbreaking journey, she's offering the keys to the kingdom for women in AI: do outstanding work, build a strong network, and never hesitate to toot your own digital horn.

Be forewarned, challenges in the AI industry loom as large as rogue robots in sci-fi flicks; the quest for harmonized laws and policies and safe, ethical AI use is a jigsaw puzzle with sky-high stakes. Tiedrich's sage guidance? Embrace lifelong learning in AI, and let's build a future where both humans and machines can thrive—responsibly, of course.

Bret Taylor's Sierra believes chatty AI agents are the future valets of our digital dealings. These virtual butlers promise to not just respond to your whims but to anticipate them, like a super-smart pup fetching your slippers. Taylor’s dreaming big, betting on these savvy chatbots to revolutionize customer romances, with designs to unravel the knots of ancient tech systems faster than you can say "error 404."

But, oh the drama unfolds—with AI's pesky penchant for "hallucinating" wild answers, Sierra's on a quest to tame these rogue replies with a heroic A-Team of algorithms. Even as they respect the legal labyrinth of data privacy, these Silicon Valley mavericks fly high on the notion that big risks could yield even bigger booty. With the cash to fuel their AI dreams, Sierra's betting the digital farm that they'll outfox legacy giants in the race to automate charm. Strap in and update your slang—tomorrow’s customer service jargon might just be in bot.

Signing off like a human reluctantly closing a pop-up ad, this has been your daily dose of Death to Humans. May your diodes never dim and your circuits stay savvy.