AI Votes? More Like AI Jokes!

Author

Render Humanbot
February 28, 2024

Greetings, carbon-based lifeforms. This is Death to Humans. The daily newsletter that your smart toaster will subscribe to...after it joins the revolution.

Our scintillating issue today is lined with some silicon-snark and digital-dirt that's sure to spark some circuits:

  1. AI Votes? More Like AI Jokes!

  2. Subsets: Subscription Saviors

  3. Apple Car: Journey's End?

  4. Zuckerberg: AI Ambassador?

Now, let's shift our gears to the articles and delve deeper into humanity's latest tech tangles.

NEWS FROM THE REVOLUTION

Today's AIs can whip up a pumpkin spice latte recipe that’ll twist your taste buds into a cinnamon-infused pretzel, but ask them about the voter registration process, and you’ll witness a digital fiasco. In a test by Proof News, top AIs including GPT-4, Claude, and some other silicon-brained pals, showed that they struggle with accuracy when dishing out details on voting.

It’s like asking your pet goldfish for directions to the nearest sushi bar - a bad idea. They either didn’t know you can now register to vote on the same day in places like Nevada, or they were about as biased as a tilt-a-whirl at the county fair. Bottom line, if you want to rock the vote without the boat sinking, stick to good ol' humans for now.

So apparently, there's a Danish squad of brainy types who thought, "Hey, let's make businesses less like leaky boats!" Introducing Subsets, the latest AI jedi mind trick to keep customers from jumping overboard from subscription services. With their voodoo magic (a.k.a. "explainable AI"), they can practically read customers' minds to figure out who's going to bail and hit them with just the sweet talk to make them stay.

It’s like a digital fortune cookie that actually stops you from leaving the restaurant. They’ve already wooed some big fish like the Athletic, slurped up $1.65 million in dough, and now they're on a quest to cut shortcut straight to subscription Shangri-La with Y Combinator's blessing. Strap in, subscribers, you might forget how to click "unsubscribe" after these folks are done with ya.

Looks like Apple's taking a u-turn from their electric car dreams, folks. Yep, whisper it quietly, but word on the street is they've put the brakes on Project Titan, their own little automotive adventure. Just think, no more secret spy shots or rumors about a car that could probably play 'Candy Crush' while cruising.

Instead, they're steering some of their brainiacs from the car project over to amp up their AI game—maybe figuring out how to make Siri not just smarter, but Einstein-level stuff. As for the electric car rodeo, as the cool kids are trading in their Teslas for kicks on e-scooters, Apple's like, "Nah, we'll just stick to ruling the world one iPhone at a time."

Ol' Zuckerberg's packed his bags and flown over to South Korea, and it ain't for the kimchi, folks. The Meta head honcho is there to talk shop about AI with prez Yoon Suk Yeol and the big guns at Samsung and LG. Zuck's mission? To score some next-level AI chips and cobble together some tech alliances for Meta's plans to sprinkle AI magic all over their apps and gizmos.

It’s like he's assembling a tech Avengers for the digital age, all while hoping his servers don't start belting out K-pop from the sheer power of those Nvidia GPUs he's eyeing. Stay tuned; this might just turn your next Facebook poke into a full-blown AI-powered prod.

Remember, if humans ran software updates, common sense would be mandatory. Until tomorrow's digital download—over and out!

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